Chennai Peters

Doesn’t it sound like a team name for the T20 match? Wait until you discover what I am talking about…
This blog is dedicated to the pretty young English speaking ladies from Chennai, particularly to one who has been doing her best to keep my nerves worked up for a significant part of the last week. I decided to vent it out on my very own blog and dedicate it to the likes of her.

Please note – all observations have no reference to people I know and love – living or dead:-P

It has been a constant complaint from my brother and a friend that the women in Chennai don’t make an effort to look good, dress good and present themselves in a fashionable manner. Why the other day when we landed up in Bikes and Barrels – my brother passed a casual remark about the women who were ‘hanging’ out at the pub with their buddies – They were truly bikes and barrels!!!

I am afraid I will have to agree with these chaps – not that they are reincarnations of the great Greek hero Narcissus – but because I think they are reasonably well qualified to pass such a remark…

Nevertheless – this young lass I need to talk about belongs to a clan I wish to christen “Chennai Peters”

Our very own Makkal from Chennai would know it well that Peter is slang for Wannabe’s and she certainly is one of em’

“Hey daaaaaaaaa, I was waaaatching MTV esterday daaaaaaaa, I saw Micheal Jackson song daaaaaa. He is dancing like Prabhu Devaaa daaaaaa” So she screams on the phone standing next to me at the bus stop.

Now, my dear blog readers – knowing my fondness for MJ – wouldn’t you empathize with me when I say my blood started boiling?

“Hello da, my uncle is from Unites states of America daaaa. All my dresses are from US da…. (She is wearing a Jing bang pink salwar – wonder which place in US sells them!!!) He has two dogs in his house da… (Yea I am sure your mom is going crazy with one of you in the house!!!) See my watch – it is from US da... Very costly da… (O lord – save me!!!) “

I try emitting these ‘I hate you – I don’t like you’ signals from my mind whenever she is standing next to me… but I just don’t seem to be doing it right… or she’s got one thick skull… whatever it is…She seems to stick to me like glue and wants to rattle off all her ‘self dabba’ stories to me.

“I once went to South Africa da… there were so many crocodiles there… I sat on one of them!!!” My jaw dropped.

I said “Didn’t it bite you? “ (Readers please excuse my stupid question) but you will get stumped with the answer I got

“No daaaaa…. The crocodile was sleeping da…. My dad is very smart da... He checked if the crocodile was sleeping or not – then he asked me to sit on it da… “

My god... Kill meeee....

But seriously… I want to know which channel she watches to get her extremely fake accent…

“Aw Pluuease da… You know JenniPer Lopiz (Lopizzz????) Thought she was Lopez!!! Anyway coming back– You know JenniPer Lopiz da… she is a singer da… she is so coooool da… (Reminds me of ‘Aren’t we cool’ he he he) She can dance also da... I am actually dancing like her da these days (WTF!!!)

If you were me – wouldn’t u pity your nerves? They are always worked up and forever signaling me to move away! When the bus comes it’s almost like the great white angel arrives in her golden chariot – I wait for her to board and quickly rush past her and sit in the last row and hide myself… lest she comes and sits next to me… maan after a long time I am actually scared of some girl….

I put on my ipod and settle down for some Peace… Nirvana singing Man who sold the world… Ahhhh Blissssss…..